Damn, damn, damn, Vans… this is some spottieottiedopalicious grown-man shit right here!

Well… kinda.

Try as we might, sneakers can’t be worn just anywhere nowadays. Trust us, people get genuinely bummed the fuck out when you wear ‘em to a funeral, wedding or court, and besides – we’re almost thirty for chrissakes, can’t rock Authentics and Zapatos forever. (Sike. We can, just stay with us for the sake of the post, alright?)

Leave it to our brethren at Vans to come up with a sneaky solution to sneaks in the way of the latest Off the Wall offering, The Pritchard Sneaker. Yes, sneaker - don’t be fooled by the dress shoe detail, uber-sexy suede construction and heeled gum rubber sole. These joints still feature Vans trademark EVA midsoles and crazy comfy inserts for supreme shock absorption (yeah, you can skate ‘em!) and the rounded laces will make you look more dirty chic than hipster geek.

Karmaloop has ‘em in both khaki and black and gum, but don’t sleep – these fuckers are moving quick already.