We’ve all heard about those horrorshow internships and freelance gigs where inexperienced lil’ go-getters are forced to fetch coffee, walk dogs, do laundry, clip toenails and basically eat shit for free every day. Well, now is the time to stop hearing about it and start being about it – the blog is looking for a few good bad decent freelancers, contributors and interns!

If you have an individual fashion sense (I really don’t give a shit, Karmaloop made me write that), some writing experience, a self-starter attitude and knowledge of Karmaloop and streetwear culture, then I want to you for teasing, mental anguish, and above all, making your life a living hell. And if you can handle a camera, total bonus – I’m a major fuckin’ narcissist (oh, and original pictures look nice an’ pretty on the blog).

Still interested? Then may Satan help you. Do you enjoy researching feature articles, conducting and transcribing interviews, and writing blog posts within a designated category of personal interest? If you answered “uh, I guess so” to either of the aforementioned while bashfully looking down at your feet and fidgeting nervously, you’re a lame bore with no self-confidence and you’ll fit in here just fine.

So, if you feel like spending between 20 and 30 hours a week being ignored, shamed, taunted and possibly whipped with phone cords to the beat of a thrash metal soundtrack as my intern, send a resume, writing samples and/or a blog link to my smelly self (andrew.bishop@karmaloop.com) with subject line “I Hate Myself and Want to Blog for Free”* – from there we’ll trade some dirty jokes back and forth until you’re called in for an interview… by the way, since Karmaloop is located in Boston, please either live close to the city, visit brothels here on a regular basis, or plan on moving here within the next couple weeks. Thanks, kids!

Interning not for you? Feel like you’re above that shit? Well, you’re not. No one’s special, I don’t care what your mother said… but I like the attitude. I need frequent contributors as well as freelance writers and photographers across all blog categories – see the navigation tabs at the top of the page? Pick one category (or two… three if you’re nasty), let me know what your experience is writing about that subject (be honest, and keep in mind that I don’t care if you’ve been writing for 30 minutes or 30 years), kick over a few writing samples and pray that I’m not too high to read ‘em later.

Contributor and freelance candidates – ideally, most of you are not from Boston. It’s a great, big, shitty world we live in and I want to cover the whole damned thing. Yes, you will get free access to amazing shows, concerts, festivals, trade shows, gallery openings, and conjugal visits; and yes, I will hunt you down like a fucking dog and rip your face off if I assign you to one of those gigs and you flake out. There will be a lot of responsibility as a contributor or freelancer, so don’t let me down the same way I’ve embarassed my family, friends, pets and parole officer.

Let’s see what you fuckers got! Send those resumes and writing samples to me with the quickness and we’ll be eating the lunch of hypebeasts in no time.

* I’ll give you tons of clothes. Mostly unworn… but probably not.